Infernal Hopes Torn Asunder

"You can spend a lifetime regretting a single moment, and a moment reflecting upon a lifetime."
- D. J. MacTaggart

My fleshless, lifeless fingers had grazed over the well worn spines of most of the tomes within the dark library of the Omega Institute, seeking for answers to reclaim the feeling of life within my hollow shell. I now sought 'Las Legiones Infernales' a book supposedly containing dark demonic magics that may prove fruitful for my search.
The shadow of my weary bones cast over the last few books, and a crimson spine stared at my single silver eye. The book, as always it seemed to be, was one of the last amongst those I had searched. Without hesitation my boney fingers reached out to collect its prize, a dusty whisper eminating from the bookshelf as I pulled it free. An illusion of a tongue ran over faux lips as I carefully opened the cover, the archaic words held within the book reflected within my silvery gaze.
I hurriedly, yet gently skimmed through the pages, seeking the answers to my unspoken questions... and yet.. nothing. My search was in vain, if at this time I had had lungs with which to breathe I would have sounded a sigh. My phantasmic voice cursed aloud, for no true reason than to show my disappointment.
I shake my head, knowing that to others, they currently saw the illusion I had been wearing to avoid too many... disturbances.
I pressed the book into the bookshelf once more and glided down the stairwell, moving swiftly from the library and towards the Haven. Within the Haven was a gathering of some of the more senior members of the Omega Institute, the Praetors GrrBrool, Joah and Larissa.
As I walk towards them I press the flat of my palm to my jaw, pushing my head to the side, the click of bone sounding audibly around me. GrrBrool cringes at my action before grinning and speaking.
'Now was that straightenin' it, or breakin' it?' At his words I craft my illusion made lips into a smile.
'I am merely adjusting myself.' I run my gaze around the bar, before turning back to the trio, allowing my silver eye to look between them. Joah and Larissa discussed the halloween costumes and dresses from previous days as I focus upon myself, gathering darkness as I attempt something. My words echo within my own mind as Omega enters the bar, to be greeted by Larissa with a warm embrace.
My ghostly voice echoes about me as it sounds out from my mind. ''Lyan Ramec Catya Ganen Belphegore', my hand glows red for a brief moment before returning to its 'normality'.
The Lady Omegas voice rouses me from my thoughts as she speaks my name.
'GrrBrool... Joah.. Kaine.. It's lovely to see so many of you..' I raise my gaze and incline my head politely to the Lady, I once more form a smile on my illusion crafted lips. 'Omega... Perhaps I should take off my halloween costume?' My words provoke a smile from Omega.
'Perhaps I should, too...' Her words come amidst the fading of my illusion, allowing them to see what they know to be my true form.
I shake my head briefly, the strands of hair falling away from my head, fading into nothingness and the ghost of my other eye shrivelling. Willing the conjured skin to recede, muscle and bone beginning to show as I look to the others with my single silver eye. GrrBrool shudders, his lips pulling back in instinctive revulsion of my true appearance.
My hand drifts up to rub idly at my empty eye socket as I focus on Grr, speaking with a voice no longer physical. 'What is wrong friend.. my appearance unnerves you?'
Once more my words cause Omega to smile before she speaks. 'Actually I think it might be an improvement.'
Grr speaks simply to me, the honesty for which he is known. 'Always has, always will, mate, but, i know who and what ya are, just . . .always takes some time ta get used to'
I shake my head towards Omega, the only word I form within the air being 'Harsh'
Joah and Larissa simply watch, and listen as the scene unfolds, understanding what is happening, whilst Omega speaks once more. 'I never was one with conventional taste in aesthetics, perhaps I just welcome the sight of you.. as you are. No illusions.'
I raise and then lower my shoulders in a loose shrug, before replying. 'I have been thinking about giving myself a makeover.. maybe the odd enhancement... implant.. perhaps its boredom.. or a lust for what I foolishly gave up..'
Omega looks to me with the familiar smile upon her features 'I bet we'd have far less trouble with non-returns if we sent you to collect books like that....'
Grr joins in with the Lady of the Institute in the joke and speaks. 'well ... .thats a right good point there . . .'
I emit a low chuckle 'Most likely.. but then... if i wore my true form all the time, no one would come to get the books in the first place'
Omega once more addresses me calmly as the joke falls away. 'You may appear however you please, M'dear... it matters not to us. We know you, for you, not your form.'
Unbelieving of that thought gracing the masses of this accursed city, I wave a single hand dismissively 'Others are not always so... hospitable, as well you would know..'
Joah raises her sight and looks towards me. 'Does it itch . . . when you take off the illusion? Is it like a snake, shedding its skin . . . does your true form fight to come forth?" He eyes seem to study me as she questions the illusion I wear.
Omega smiles once the question is posed and speaks briefly, before moving from the bar. 'If you'll excuse me, I might slip into my less formal Halloween gear.'
I shake my head towards Joah 'The illusion is just that... it is nothing, crafted of the magic I gained for this.. price, there is no feeling to remove it.. I could appear how I wished at any time with a certain degree of ease.. yet... I have no wish to change too much.' It evokes in me a feeling of almost.. pain, to think of it, but I hide this as I continue talking, trying to turn my malady into a joke. 'Though I admit, some part of me is tempted to adorn myself with a robe and carry a scythe, just for the effect on others.' I chuckle.
Larissa watches Joah quietly during the exchange before Joah speaks again. She shakes her head 'Illusion . . . I see. Sometimes I feel as though . . . well, never mind.' she murmurs quietly to herself. She reaches down and strokes Grr's shoulders absently.
Larissa takes a few brief steps to move to Joah "You mean truth... seeks to surface?"
Sensing Joahs troubled thoughts I tilt my head to the side 'If you wish to vent your ... doubts about them, I am willing to listen.'
Grr whines happily at Joahs affections and leans into her leg, his eyes cast in my direction as he nods with my words. Joah now seems silent, simply nodding to Larissa, before her eyes wander around the bar, looking at the strangers, perhaps wary of speaking before them.
Grr continues to look towards me, before asking of me the question I expected. 'I guess tha question is, does tha illusion come natural to ya, or are ya at peace with who and errr . . what ya are now . . .?'
My eye may betray my brief flicker of the deep sorrow I felt, but I tried to supress it before speaking. 'Joah knows how I feel about my current... 'life' and what I wish... Fidelis Insquequo Mortem.... and I am long past it now.'
On mention of her name, Joah looks to me once more and speaks softly. "Kaine . . . I have researched the matter. I've spoken with Pontifex to confirm my conclusions."
I expect the words that are to come and shake my head, raising a hand as if to halt their advance, knowing its in vain. 'I am dead.. there is no return for one such as me.'
Omega walks slowly back in, a hint of emotion on her face as she is reminded of her once-lover Pontifex. Joah speaks softly, but the words thunder around me as I hear them. 'No . . . . there is no return.' Grr speaks once more, but the words are lost to me as I revel in my darkness, words swarming around me before sounding out.
'I paid the price for my hunger.. ' I force the sound of a laugh, but it is hollow and humourless. 'At least I can aid those others who face death... as I did once before.'
Joah looks to Grr and pauses before turning her gaze to Omega as she continues, trying not to meet the Ladys eye. "Pontifex said there is another way."
Omega flinches visibly at the second mention of her former lover, turning towards the street and moving away. Grr takes ntoe of the time and moves away with a grin during the disheartening conversation, simply stating 'Awright, DJin' time.'
I allow my silver eyed gaze to fall upon Joah and I shake my head once more, my eye surely reflecting my sorrow as I find it unable to hide. 'Sadly.. this is my lot, darkness has claimed me as one of its own.. it will be reluctant to relinquish its grasp on me.'
Joah watches Grr head into the DJ booth before turning towards me. "He said you can possess the living . . . should you desire to live with the feel of flesh about you again," Her voice is quiet, and she casts her gaze to the doorway seeking to see Omega there, disappointed when she cannot see her.
Larissa sighs audibly and speaks, trying to ease what has become a rather sombre situation. "As long as you feel..." She raises her head and smiles towards Grr .Let's dance, dead or alive...'
Grr replies from behind the DJ booth as he prepares to play his music. 'Dance is tha Gift we give back' I shake my head, not heeding their words.
'Should I wear the mantle of another... I would be allowing just another piece of my humanity to escape me.' I force the sound of a sigh. 'I will think... I shall see you later..' I head for the door, waving a hand as I walk away. Larissas voice follows me as I exit, simply bidding me farewell.
Omega stood upon the street as I drifted past her, her eyes upon me. I inclined my head once more. 'Until later Sanguine Lady'
I walked slowly away, wanting time.. time to think, time.. which I seemed to be caught within.. not feeling it pass me by.

Revenge of the Reaper

"We cannot be sure of having something to live for unless we are willing to die for it"
- Che Guavara

The absence of death, and the opposite absence of life left me somewhere akin to purgatory. The world was grey, ashen.. colourless and faded. No longer could I taste the sweetest nectar, feel the softest skin, hear the most beautiful birdsong, without it being tainted by a corrupted vision. Death had claimed from me something, it had not taken my spirit, no. Yet it had claimed my life.
The semblance of humanity I ripped from fates clutches did little to comfort me, far from it, it taunted me with its lingering aftertaste. An image haunted me, a friend in life, Joah, saw what I had kept and begged of me why I had been so foolish as to keep that single part of me.
Death had his revenge, and I was lost. The Shadows Master Janvier had departed, lost to the family.. and I was slowly drifting further and further away from my supposed brethren. It seemed that I had called many in Toxia brethren at one point or another. The first being the Ryders... The Omega Institute... The Coven, and the Shadows. Each gave me something I had needed at the time, but few desired me stay.. I had wandered, drifting from house to house without a true purpose for too long... and now.. again I felt the mask of solitude placed upon my form.. and yet, this time, it was not to be removed.. my feelings dampened by the darkness I had so readily accepted and wanted.
I sought refuge in study.. seeking a way to claim at least some part of true life back.. and in seeking out knowledge, it brought me to the door of those I had once been with, The Omega Institute. They welcomed me instantly, not seeming to care I had left before... turned my back to them... how can I claim to know what resides within the hearts and minds of others?
I was lost, to me.. it was a question without answer... Does love and feeling continue after death?

The Road to Ruin.

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream"
Edgar Allen Poe - 'Dream within a Dream'

Stabs of psychosis lunged at my mind as I thought upon my current situation, darkness swirled about my form, drawn to the intent and energy I toyed with in my quest for the power I would now seek to claim.
The Shadows, both creatures of the darkness created by the light, and those living who carried the tag, swarmed about me, ready to infect my body with the unholy power I asked for. I tilted my head, looking across to the Shadows Lord and Master, Janvier. His own blood carried much sway here, many of his daughters amongst the Shadows within the pit as we stood there.
He spoke to the gathered members, his words dancing past me as I focused on the coming ritual, gathering to myself the darkness I knew would be needed to become what I sought to be.. a Master over Death itself... a Lich.
Pain lanced through me as my hands performed the first task, driving my cold steel blade into my chest, ripping it upwards to split my torso apart, crimson rivers flowing freely as my innards were exposed to my family. The first of the Shadows stepped forward to claim my flesh as a prize, my own daughter Noelle, her fangs tearing from me my face, an eye bursting as her jaws ripped into my features.
Necessary agony washed over me, and memory fades into a blur of pain, organs claimed by the various members of the Shadows, the floor sanguine with my own lifeblood as it fades away from me, escaping my grasp never to be claimed again.
The time came, my skin and flesh torn from me, leaving little of what had once been known as Kaine... only strips of muscle... a single eye.. bone and the still beating heart remained... and the last step had come. My hand shot into my chest, pulling from it the last semblance of humanity I held.. and yet... part still remained.. held in check by my mind as I sought to keep hold of my reason.
Darkness wrapped around me, and I emerged reborn from it.. a Master of Darkness... The Deathwalker.